The Bikini Debate – To Wear or Not to Wear

This is a tough topic that often gets people upset but it is a topic of the heart that needs to be addressed and I am glad people are addressing it on their blogs.  Today I wanted to share with you a post written by Carla Anne entitled “Should Christians Wear Bikinis”, I could not have said it better.

Should Christians Wear Bikinis?

Okay… here we go again!! I’m about to step on the toes of many people… even some of those I love dearly.

But it’s not because I want to offend anyone, it’s because this is such an important issue.

I don’t think Christians should wear bikinis

I’ve never understood how a girl can shriek in panic if her dad or brother or grandpa comes near her bedroom door when she’s changing, wearing a bra and panties, but then run around in less than that on the beach and think it’s okay.

I really do not understand that.

I and my girls do not wear bikinis. The reason is modesty.

But why do I think modesty is so important? Why should tans and fashion be pushed aside in favor of modest, breast-belly-bum covering clothing?

Because…

  • God says you are made with value, and that value has nothing to do with your breasts or how sexy you are.
  • Boys and men (yes even the old senior citizen men on the beach) are turned on by your body.
  • Boys and men who see a woman’s body – especially a naked body (or mostly naked) – can remember that image even if they saw it for less than 13 seconds. And they can recall it more than 60 YEARS later with excruciating detail.
    • That means, yes, when Mr. Not-So-Pure-Old-Man on the beach goes home and wants to have self-sex he may well be thinking about you in the bikini. I’m not kidding.
  • Your brother and his friends (and cousins and uncles and probably grandpa) cannot help that their brain and body have a physical and chemical reaction to seeing your breasts and almost naked body.Boys and men who see you in a bikini have an automatic response to you: their brain actually reacts to you as if you are not a person, but rather a tool like a chain saw or hammer or power drill. Yep… you just became something to be used, not loved.
    • Which means that you are putting these guys in a very, very difficult position. Many of them control themselves when you are around, but don’t even ask what they say when you are not. Trust me… they do say things, and even do things!

Don’t believe me? Watch this video.

God wants more for you. He wants you to know you are loved because of who you are.

He wants you to know you are beautiful because He made you.

And no matter how unfashionable it may be, you will have the respect and honor of the men around you if you don’t put on that bikini.

Finding Modest Bathing Suits

Here are some places you can find modest bathing suits:

Should Christians Wear Bikinis - Carla Anne Coroy - A DivinitaSole Bathing Suit

  • http://swimmodest.com/ – We bought these for years. We loved them! They are one-pieces, but very, very comfortable.
  • http://www.simply-modest.com/
  • http://www.divinitasole.com/ – I particularly like the ‘Bowtie Tankini’ and the fact that you can choose modest cut bottoms.
  • http://www.limericki.com/ – we’ve found great tankinis here paired with the shorts bottoms. Not everything is modest, use wise judgment.
  • http://www.swimsuitsforall.com/#back – many of these are modest, especially if you notice that they have ‘modest’ options for leg openings, back opening, and neck openings. We’ve found this site great for one-pieces as my girls have exceptionally long bodies and finding a one-piece is very, very difficult. Again, make sure it meets your modesty standard. (CAUTION: We have recently tried to return a swimsuit here and had significant difficulty with customer service.)
  • http://hydrochic.com/modest-swimsuits.html – they have some seriously modest swim suits including long sleeves, long legs, and skirts. But still sporty!

What Do You Think?

You know where I stand, but maybe you don’t agree! Or maybe you do!

Tell us what you think on this issue!

One more question: If you have lived or currently live in a culture other than a typical North American culture, please comment on how modesty issues are different or the same in that part of the world. If another part of a woman’s body is sexually attractive in that culture (thighs versus breasts, or necks versus bottoms, etc) what does modesty look like there?

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I feel Fat and Ugly – Thoughts from a Frustrated Girl!

Written last year – Enjoy
Is this you right now?  Or do you know someone who is feeling this way.  Then pass on this article to them.

My friend said this to me recently and I understand her completely.  After all in my friend’s case, it’s not easy-going from a super lean size 4 to a not so lean size 14.

In my case I went from being a size 4 super lean and ripped mom to a size 10 not so lean and tired mom of three.  As my friend said above I also felt that after having my 3rd child, I would never look like I did before .  With the first two pregnancies I lost all my baby weight and an additional 15 pounds just within the first 4 months after giving birth.  It was amazing, but I did work really hard on my physique including a 5 day a week gym workout consisting of two hours everyday of weights, strength training, cardio and toning.

But life changed really fast and I could no longer work out at all!!!!  My doctor ordered me to go on bed rest for the last 3 months of my pregnancy and shortly after baby was born I fell at work because the building left soap and water on the floor.  That further delayed my exercise since I could barely move enough to shower let alone do cardio and lift weights.  I did several months of physical therapy and chiropractic and just recently have I been able to speed walk and do some light weights.  Yet in spite of all that happened to me I sometimes felt like I was never going to be that hot chick my husband knew just 2 years ago.

I mean really.  Between diaper changes, constant breastfeeding, working full-time and other children to care for; who in their right mind has the time to work on their abs for 45 minutes 3 times a week and do strength training 4 times a week?  This depressed me because I am one of those people who absolutely adores the gym.  I don’t need encouragement to go, no workout buddy needed.  Just give me the time and a babysitter and I’m there at whatever time.

So like I told my good friend, I had to give it to God and realize that there was a little creature that had the right to demand all of my time, energy, milk and sleep.  And he still does at 15 months and I am still working fulltime and I still have not made it into the gym.  I will get there soon just not right now.  In the meantime I have opted for strolls with the kids, weight training at home (free weights) and have accepted the fact that perfection is not a requirement for loving or receiving love.

My kids and my husband don’t look at me and say “Jeez mom, I would love you a whole lot more if you dropped those last 7 pounds”

Going through this season of fattyness has further reinforced my belief that we don’t control our world or what happens to us, only God does.  I can’t wake up and tell a pregnant contracting tummy to stop contracting because I am in control.

I can’t tell a sickness to leave or tell a pimple to go away or stop a freak accident from occurring.

I can, however, chose to continue living my life as a gift and savor the taste of my homemade organic rose petal honey on freshly made bread.

I can set my weekly goals and do my best to meet them, but when I don’t I can rest in the fact that I’m not perfect and proceed to dancing with baby on my hip as a cardio workout substitute.

I can ignore fashion week and say firmly that it bares little to no weight on what I decide to wear or not wear!!!

I can make healthier decisions about how I am eating and not blame myself for packing on a few extra pounds when those pounds were part of “a labor of love”

I can encourage others around me to be healthier and teach them what eating right looks like.

There is so much to be thankful for and little to complain about.  After all there is a solution to everything on this earth except for death.

So at the end of the day don’t sink into the thought of feeling ugly and fat if this is the result of an unexpected life change or illness.

Make the best of your day.  Like I say to my kids: You can get all dressed up for an event and go out to then get caught in the rain and finally make it into the car soaking wet.  Once in your car you can freak out and be in a bad mood or you can get out of your car, and dance in the rain.  Either way you’ll still be wet, the only difference is the attitude you choose to have.

Blessings!

I cant belive you just did that? Tips on Bible Centered Parenting


You know, it’s not always easy to discipline our kids with patience, love and understanding.  Sometime the situation gets the best of us and instead of imparting the right type of discipline, we fail miserably by loosing our temper.

Today I wanted to share this online devotional from Parenting by Design entitled Kindness Leads to Repentance.  Hope it blessed you.  It was a great reminder for me!

Romans 2:4: Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance, and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you to repentance? (NIV)

When our kids disobey, we sometimes feel justified to respond with anger, guilt, or sarcasm. It may make us feel better for a moment, but it rarely produces the results we are hoping for. This verse explains why. We can be “right” in our assessment of the situation and still be “wrong” in how we respond. We are called to treat our kids with respect, even in the midst of conflict, because this is how God responds to us in our rebellion.

Rather than seeking to punish or prove we’re right, the motivation for discipline should be to move our kids towards holiness. God allows us to learn important lessons by giving us consequences, but He does so with kindness, tolerance and patience. This is the kind of discipline that leads to repentance!

Being kind, tolerant, and patient even in the face of disobedience or rebellion requires your kids to focus on their mistakes, rather than your response.