Is Worry My Companion or Christ?

I remember not too long ago feeling extremely stressed out.  I kept taking deep breaths as if doing so was going to rid me of my worries and de-clutter the madness circulating in my brain.  As I drove I remember thinking to myself: 

“There is just so much to do, bills to pay, kids to register for school, tuition fees and medical treatments we can’t afford, health complications, searching for a home to move into, cooking, eating, remembering to sleep and in between all that, remaining faithful to God in prayer and devotion.”

I remember taking another deep breath and wiping the tears from my eyes as I drove into work and my thoughts continued:

“Lord, what are you doing with all of this?  I feel like we are juggling glass balls and at any moment one of those precious balls is going to drop and shatter.  Will it be the health ball that falls first or the financial ball?”

How many times have we been in the same situation?  Worried sick that things are not going the way we planned.

I know for me, life has been anything but easy this past decade, more so these past 4 years.  Time and time again, suffering has become my companion and tears my food.

There have been days filled with immense pain, hardship, and trials in the midst of days of sunshine.

But when days and seasons are draining my energy and destroying my hope; I pray for God to give me peace and I try my hardest to stand on the fact that my Redeemer, your Redeemer, He lives and He is with me and with you.  I can’t see Him or feel him or touch him in a direct way, but I can see His beauty as I observe the wonders of His creation.  Animals feeding their young and calling one another for companionship and help.  Birds chanting a mid-day melody.  I feel Him when I am embraced by a cool breeze on a hot summer day and when I hug my children I get a glimpse of His perfection and beauty.

So when worry fills up the hallways of my heart and I am consumed with doubt and fear I need to remember, we all need to remember that He lives and He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of might and of a strong mind! 2 Timothy 1:7

May you know that He lives, may we all know He lives and although the day may be at its darkest, the new morning is just around the corner.

Pray for me so I can remember these truths always.  If you need prayer, please just post a request under the section entitled Prayer at the top right-hand side of this site.

Lots of Love Mariana

My Love Affair with Lemon – Mom Confessions

I know, I know, the title is catchy isn’t it?  I don’t know what to say, I just love lemons.  I made my self a hot cup of organic herbal tea and I could not help but squeeze the lights out of my poor lemon until every single drop of sourness and vitamin C was in my cup. It does not hurt to say that lemons contain high amounts of vitamin C more so then limes, so if you have a cold it is probably a good idea to brew some tea and use a lemon or two, sweeten with some raw honey or coconut sugar and you’re good to go. 

Lemon, in my opinion, puts the pizzazz on any lame dish, gives your cup of tea the final touch of excellence, makes seafood dishes pop and on a hot summer day a good old glass of lemonade quenches the wickedest of thirsts.

And there my friend is the juice of the matter, the silver lining, the hidden nugget of gold.  In analyzing my love for lemons I came to the realization that for a great part of my life I have had a love affair with my favored lemon.  Let me explain.

When life seems perfect, peace permeates my soul, laughter fills the air and the sun is shining, it is not too long before the clouds roll in, the lighting starts and I am soaking wet.  My peace has, on more than one occasion taken a detour and left me.  The laughter has turned to tears and that big thing called the sun, well, it has hidden its face from me and left me with cloudy dark days.  Some of those days filled with bitterness, depression, anxiety, fear, and pain.

In those brief moments, I have questioned God’s perfect plan, cried out to Him in anger, lost faith, lost hope and laid there, in the rain.  Soaking wet, shivering, cold and afraid.

And then the days, weeks and months go by and when I least expected it; I saw a glimpse of sunlight.  Flooded gardens with dead flowers began to bloom again, laughter and joy returned and the experience I endured while in the dark valley served me for a higher purpose.
In my trials and suffering,
in the times of bitterness and despair,
the fruit of Gods Holy Spirit has blossomed.
And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that,
those sour lemons were placed in my life to compliment Gods beautiful creation,
his beloved daughter.

These have been the moments I have had a love affair with Lemon.

Like the fruit, we all know and love compliments a great dish or savory drink, so do God’s trials and times of suffering in our life.  If it weren’t for the lemons in our life we would be cold, selfish, ungodly people.  Unable to show compassion, mercy, and grace.

It is not always easy to live through constant trials when you are serving the Lord but don’t lose hope, my friend.  When you least expect it, you will see that in the death your soul has experienced, His life has been resurrected in you!

Praise God for Lemons!!!

Lots of Love – Mariana