Is Worry My Companion or Christ?

I remember not too long ago feeling extremely stressed out.  I kept taking deep breaths as if doing so was going to rid me of my worries and de-clutter the madness circulating in my brain.  As I drove I remember thinking to myself: 

“There is just so much to do, bills to pay, kids to register for school, tuition fees and medical treatments we can’t afford, health complications, searching for a home to move into, cooking, eating, remembering to sleep and in between all that, remaining faithful to God in prayer and devotion.”

I remember taking another deep breath and wiping the tears from my eyes as I drove into work and my thoughts continued:

“Lord, what are you doing with all of this?  I feel like we are juggling glass balls and at any moment one of those precious balls is going to drop and shatter.  Will it be the health ball that falls first or the financial ball?”

How many times have we been in the same situation?  Worried sick that things are not going the way we planned.

I know for me, life has been anything but easy this past decade, more so these past 4 years.  Time and time again, suffering has become my companion and tears my food.

There have been days filled with immense pain, hardship, and trials in the midst of days of sunshine.

But when days and seasons are draining my energy and destroying my hope; I pray for God to give me peace and I try my hardest to stand on the fact that my Redeemer, your Redeemer, He lives and He is with me and with you.  I can’t see Him or feel him or touch him in a direct way, but I can see His beauty as I observe the wonders of His creation.  Animals feeding their young and calling one another for companionship and help.  Birds chanting a mid-day melody.  I feel Him when I am embraced by a cool breeze on a hot summer day and when I hug my children I get a glimpse of His perfection and beauty.

So when worry fills up the hallways of my heart and I am consumed with doubt and fear I need to remember, we all need to remember that He lives and He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of might and of a strong mind! 2 Timothy 1:7

May you know that He lives, may we all know He lives and although the day may be at its darkest, the new morning is just around the corner.

Pray for me so I can remember these truths always.  If you need prayer, please just post a request under the section entitled Prayer at the top right-hand side of this site.

Lots of Love Mariana

Thoughts from Suffering

These past few months have been so intense.  We have endured so many trials both in our lives and in the lives of our close friends, it’s been exhausting.  From health to finances, homelessness, and miscarriage.  The rain has beaten down hard on all of our faces and its left us weak.

With all that has been happening its easy to slip into depression, freak out and call it quits.  When life beats us down, its only normal to feel broken, lost and confused.  But as I look up towards heaven through all my tears and sadness, I know that He hears me.  He sees our faith and He knows our pain.  I don’t completely understand why He allows us to suffer so much.  It crushes me to see people that I love go through so much pain.

At times it frustrates me and I struggle to understand why sickness happens to our family and to those around me.  But at the same time, I know that God has a plan in all of this mess, although I don’t understand it right now.

Going through this period of spiritual and physical suffering has reinforced the belief that we suffer so we can carry the crucified Christ in our hearts and be sensitive to a hurting world.  When we suffer we carry Christ and His love with greater intensity.

So if you are going through a difficult time that has sucked up all your energy and faith, don’t lose heart.  Please don’t lose focus on Him, the resurrected Christ who knows your suffering and is walking with you.  He can carry you through the difficult stony paths if you let Him, just like a father carries a tired child.

One of my favorite bible teachers put it this way: “Before God changes our circumstances, He wants to change our hearts.  If our circumstances change for the better, but we remain the same, then we will become worse.  Gods purpose in Providence is not to make us comfortable, but to make us conformable, “conformed to the image of His Son” (Rom 8:29).  Christlike character is the divine goal for each of His children.”  Warren W. Wiersbe

Scripture reminds us in 2 Corinthians chapter 4 that “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies…..So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Amen – Lots of Love – Mariana  ©